Cookies and Back Massages

Why should we believe in love? So many people these days do not believe in it.

Of course there’s different kinds of love. But for now, I’m going to talk about romantic love. That love you have for someone that you just can’t live without. It’s like no matter what wrong they do, you still care.

I fell in love with someone. He’s this incredible person. He makes me laugh, cry, smile and just fill me up with joy. He is the only man I can actually see myself with. And honestly, I would not care if we had sex. I know, crazy, right? I mean, you associate romance with sex.

Honestly, there doesn’t have to be sex in the equation. As much as lust, chaos and wine are needed in a relationship. There is also this level of maturity that you obtain when you love someone that, as long as the other is happy and that person is yours—that’s all that matters.

Ever heard of courtly love? It was based off sexual attraction, but it was more platonic and spiritual. Some scholars consider this love, a pure love. However, some disagree. This was back in medieval European times. This would involve a married woman of nobility and a knight. This is probably a bad example, but I believe this is the most intense kind of love out there, as marriage back in the day had no relation to love at all, so this is what lovers had to settle for.

This love is the kind of love that drives you crazy. This could be seen in Casablanca: Rick settles to have this courtly love because he wants his love to be happy as he lets her go. We also see this in Lord of the Rings: Gimli has this courtly love for Lady Galadriel. But this just doesn’t happen in literature and film. This happens in real life.

I’m in love with someone right now, well for a while now. And he's just this incredible person that will always make me happy. He does all these little things that rock my world and even bigger things that make my world. I would never be able to consummate this love, nor will I ever. I just want to make him happy. I want to see him smile, his eyes sparkle and his heart quicken. I want to make him see the world in such a beautiful way. I want him to hold my hand and tell me everything is going to be okay. I want to hold his hand and tell him it is going to be okay. I want to be able to give him cookies when he needs it and a back massage when he desires. I want to be able to let him live his life and have me as a part of it.

Forget it, it’s not that I want to…I need to. It is because I love him.

I love the way he laughs, even if it is obnoxious. I love the way he cares. I love him, even if he hurts me. Because he will always hurt me. But it’s okay—because I love him. And I will always love him. I will move on and be with other people and love other people. But I will forever love him.

I won’t write his name or disclose what he looks like. This is because…well again, this is my courtly, unrequited love. It’s my secret that I will probably keep forever. This probably is not healthy and I should probably not do this. But, I cannot stop loving him, nor will I.

So this post was probably super cheesy and gross to read, but I was just thinking about him. This is probably really depressing, but I guess I just wanted to express myself. Whew, that was really needed.

I love you guys! Thanks so much for reading. Don’t forget to stop by every once in a while.

Forever,

Drey